The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
