So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
