Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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