I bet he comes in French.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
