I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
