got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
