hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize