I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How does one acquire holy water?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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