I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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