what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
