so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
