that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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