Pappa wants mamma naked
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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