Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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