yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
