The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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