What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
