If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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