HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
