She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize