Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
