she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
