Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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