dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
are you so shy because you have an std?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
