Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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