you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
