Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
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I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize