ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
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I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
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Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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