Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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