I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
