My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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