I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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