She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize