My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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