Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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