It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Im part way to drunk.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
