Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
