Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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