i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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