OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She said her name was "party"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Randomize
