he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
