i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
our cab driver is having phone sex.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
