A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time