i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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