You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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