yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
