My nipple is on Facebook.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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