im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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