yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
