I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize