so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
time to smoke my breakfast
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
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The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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