I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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