shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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