carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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