I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
