Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I supernannyed him into submission
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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