Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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