So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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