are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
