I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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