Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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