My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize