Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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