I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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