i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
