Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Randomize
