I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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